Les Québécois perdent-ils la capacité de conduire leurs voitures quand elles croisent le Mississippi?

I'm still hoping that one of my 12 predictions will come true this Saturday, but given Mizzou's lackluster display on Tuesday, I suspect anyone hoping to visit Phoenix next month will have just added Frank Martin's number to their speed dial. Unfortunately, another prediction is set to come true (and it's still not Adele filming a music video in McDonald County.)

And it occurred to me on Mile Marker 123 of Interstate 70 this past weekend, when I passed a semi-truck with a license plate from Quebec. Were House Bill 1186 to arrive on Governor Nixon's desk and receive his signature, this driver would likely not be able to get a license in Missouri.

Under the provisions of HB 1186, the state would only be allowed to administer driving tests in English. Currently the Department of Revenue provides tests in 11 other languages, having started in 1962. Supporters claim this would make roads safer by making sure everyone on Missouri's roads know English.

That doesn't stop Québécois, Latinos, or Patois-speaking Bahamians and Jamaicans from driving through the Show-Me State. And if someone can't get a driver's license in Missouri because they're still struggling to learn English, they could easily get one just by moving to Springdale, East St. Louis or KCK, and still drive through Missouri with ease. They'd still be the "safety hazard" the measure's supporters seek to deter. In the House committee that heard testimony on the bill, representatives from insurance companies within the state warned that not allowing foreign speakers to obtain drivers licenses could increase premiums, as those drivers would not be able to purchase insurance, let alone operate a car legally.

Frankly, this is what I'd have to classify as a boogeyman bill targeting illegal immigrants and thus baiting votes from people who recognize the problem (or are generally xenophobic). Unfortunately, the collateral damage of making it more difficult for legal immigrants and refugees to integrate into everyday Missouri life (where a century ago, a sizable population spoke only German!) will not prove fruitful in the long run and deter job creators when Missouri still hovers above eight percent unemployment.

And if the target is truly to keep illegal immigrants off the roads, this is just a symptom of the gross inaction of an unwilling, gridlocked federal government. Citizenship standards are suppose to be a national standard. Patchwork efforts to curb illegal immigration, even if pursued uniformly, fall apart if just one state remains a sanctuary. And even then, the manner in which Arizona enforces their crackdowns on illegal immigrants differs from Alabama and Oklahoma. In effect, you get 50+ different legal definitions of who is and isn't suppose to be in the United States, and states exporting their symptoms to their neighbors as such laws go into effect.

There are more effective ways to identify, publicize, and curtail the problem of illegal immigration and the issues that arise from it. Maligning all non-English speakers and essentially chasing them off to neighboring states is not the way to do it, especially if you're not going to set up checkpoints along every dirt road that crosses the state line to make sure everyone crossing can read and understand English.

New Year's Predictions For 2012

Some feasible, some wacky, some seemingly impossible predictions for 2012:

1. Despite a down year for Democrats nationwide, Jay Nixon coasts to re-election
   
   Having a near veto-proof majority in the General Assembly is only useful if you can wield it, and Republicans fell apart from the word go during last fall's Extraordinary Session. What should have been a significant push for economic development, disaster recovery efforts, tax credit reform, local control of St. Louis City Police, and clean-up of measures that fell by the wayside last session turned into a two-month vegetable that wound up including a house resolution that inadvertently slammed a company with 15,000 employees in Missouri, and a bill which technically can't take effect without a court order stripping the qualifying legislation.
   
   Of course, Nixon would have been a prime target for a principled conservative, unilaterally "withholding" $170 million from the state budget to pay for disaster relief in Joplin, Birds Point, and the Platte Purchase when a half-billion dollar Rainy Day Fund has been set aside for the past 20 years for that very purpose. (Asking five of the state's 14 public four-year universities to lend that amount from their reserves doesn't bode well either.) But as his most likely challenger Tweeted his way into near-political oblivion, his only two Republican challengers are St. Louis plastics magnate Dave Spence and Kansas City lawyer Bill Randles, a native of Northwest Arkansas. Nixon was an easy winner over Kenny Hulshof in 2008 by picking up 61 percent of the vote in Southwest Missouri. His re-election prospects in the region are buoyed with his bringing about the Missouri Solution to counter the November 2010 passage of Proposition B, and his public presence around Joplin in the months following the tornado of 22 May. Unless Spence or Randles start a massive grassroots push in the outstate, it'll be the same story in '12 even if the GOP candidate for President turns out to be a shoe-in for Missouri's 10 electoral votes.
   


2. Despite the persistent "Oust The Incumbents" drumbeat, every member of Missouri's congressional delegation is re-elected. (Yes, that includes Claire.)
   
   Any mention of Congress' disapproval rating should be taken with a grain of salt, at most. There are 435 voting members of Congress, and most respondents who say the place is dysfunctional still vote to retain their rep, because it's the other 434 who wreck the place. This mentality will prevail again in Missouri in 2012, particularly in the outstate. Graves, Emerson, Hartzler, Leutkemeyer, and Long will secure re-election. Cleaver will be in another dogfight with the addition of Ray, Lafayette, Saline, and southwestern Clay counties, but there will be just enough support in the urban core of Kansas City to keep him around. Clay will remain in St. Louis City, and will likely edge out Russ Carnahan should he run for the 1st. Were Carnahan to run for the 2nd, he would probably win depending on the GOP challenger.
   
   Although I am very skeptical of Obama's chances of claiming Missouri's electoral votes, I see Claire McCaskill squeaking out another close victory. She will campaign heavy in the outstate and find a way to deflect the [damn] many [plane] criticisms [husband's $17m income] that [Obamacare] will [Super-PAC after Super-PAC zeroing in on her] be levied against her. Especially if illegal immigration were to become a campaign issue. The GOP will claim a slim majority in the Senate, but it will not be by way of Missouri.
   


3. Missouri GOP retain majorities in the General Assembly, but the margin will diminish
   
   The House and Senate will not change hands in 2012. Even with several radical adjustments in the house boundaries, the gap is just too wide for Democrats to overcome in one election (particularly with the growth in the Southwest and sub-suburban St. Louis). However, given the bitter stagnation of the Extraordinary Session, and the prospects of not much more being accomplished this session, it would be surprising to see this many Republicans return in 2013.
   
   Part of the reason that majority will diminish:
4. The greatest accomplishment of the 2012 General Assembly will involve a boogeyman conjured up for vote-mongering purposes.
   
   Hopefully that boogeyman will be the chronic job poachers from a certain state to the west, but with candidates looking to shore up their credentials, expect bill discussed in detail that target any of these boogeymen:
   
   1. Sharia law
   2. Ballot box stuffers
   3. Illegal immigrants
   4. CAFOs
   5. Tax credit junkies
   6. Online shopping
   7. Term limits


5. Rex H Susa starts chowing down on medicinal hemp, but he'd rather buy it in Arkansas where sales tax would be a bargain nine percent.
   
   He's back, and in full force. Petitions are circulating around the state on a multitude of issues, most notable an effort by Rex Sinquefield's Let Voters Decide to eliminate the income tax and replace it with a higher, broader sales tax to make up the difference. The Humane Society of the United States, bitter over their ag-jeopardizing Proposition B being substantially reworked with the blessing of Governor Nixon and the Humane Society of Missouri, are fronting Your Vote Counts and pushing a constitutional amendment that would require a 75 percent affirmative vote of the General Assembly to overturn any voter initiative, no matter how flawed the proposal is.
   
   And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Petitions are in the works for updated renewable energy mandates, medical marijuana, an increase in Missouri's lowest-in-the-Western-world 17¢/pack cigarette tax, the prohibition of eminent domain for the benefit of private enterprise, allowing Missouri to vote early, elimination of property taxes, local control of St. Louis City's police force, reform measures for campaign finance, pay day loans, and an increase in the state's minimum wage by $1/hour. Not all of these will get enough signatures, but expect a lot of zombified soccer moms flooding the ballot box with affirmative votes for those that do after seeing carefully crafted TV ads in-between segments of Extra! and Talk Soup.
   


6. The Euro holds on, at least until Ireland defaults.
   It's the ticking time bomb that will define the 21st century: whether the sick man that is Europe will be able to recover from what's turned out to be a modern version of Articles of Confederacy. Greece and Italy have taken drastic steps to bring their debt crises under control, but three more Eurozone members are in trouble: Spain, Portugal and Ireland. Even with a centre-right coalition running the Irish Republic, they too will have to make serious changes to avoid defaulting after spending a decade as Europe's fastest-rising economic destination.
   
   Spain and Portugal having to make drastic steps will not impact as much for this reason: the fate of the EU as we know it rests in London's Whitehall. Public opinion of the EU is trending lower and lower. Were Ireland required to make even more drastic steps, supporting the EU will be seen as toxic, particularly in a nation which wails every so often that, "Britons never never never shall be slaves." Seeing the impact of an economic calamity on their doorsteps, rather than in far-flung corners of the continent, will push the Cameron-led Coalition to hold a referendum on the fate of EU membership.
   
   The Euro needs the stalwart financial sector of Canary Wharf to hold on. If they leave the picture, it will collapse and cause greater economic uncertainty that the American economy will have to weather, rather than risk its own solvency for a Marshall Plan 2.0.
   

Now, the more important picks:
7. Adele makes a comeback from her throat surgery by recording a stunning rendition of "I'll Fly Away" as the bonus track on her 23 album.
   
   And not just that: She'll record a music video of it featuring the hometown of its songwriter, Albert Brumley
   
   You can't deny the phenomenal vocal power of the Tottenham native. Even if her tracks "Someone Like You" and "Rolling In The Deep" wound up each being played six times a day on CHR and AAA stations, there's dang good reason. After being sidelined last fall with laryngitis that required surgery to preserve her cords, don't count her out. Adele certainly has another album or two up her sleeve, and hopefully someone at Walmart will capitalize on her return by snagging her to sing a bonus track on her next album (which, if the naming scheme continues, would be 23).
   
   Where does "I'll Fly Away" come in? Just 30 minutes away from the Walmart Home Office is the McDonald County hamlet of Powell, which still has a post office and a lot of community spirit anchored by the Albert E Brumley & Sons Publishing Company. Just south of the hamlet is a 97-year-old iron bridge which is unlike any other, and as such was named to the National Registry of Historic Places last year:
   
   
   The Powell Bridge crosses the scenic Big Sugar Creek, which becomes the oft-rafted Elk River in Pineville. And boy do I mean scenic. Come out here on a sunny spring day and it's the most ethereal blend of natural beauty surrounding a rustic, historic structure. Add in two gems just across the state line: War Eagle Mill east of Rogers and Fisher Ford Bridge south of Siloam Springs, and you'll have the most beautiful music video of 2012. Just make sure the film crew has plenty of Catfish John's.
   


8. Mizzou men's basketball finally break through to the Final Four and win their last conference game at Allen Fieldhouse.
   
   Mizzou has the second-most number of appearances in the NCAA Men's Basketball tournament without ever reaching the Final Four, now at 24. Provided the Big 12 doesn't throttle the RPI and momentum of the black-and-gold, this team has all the pieces to persevere and at least make it to New Orleans. And claim a victory over their archrival Jayhawks at Allen Fieldhouse, carrying that all the way to the SEC. And speaking of the SEC:
   


9. KU reluctantly schedules Mizzou for football, but only after the Big East successfully holds West Virginia hostage the next two years.
   
   KU do not want to play Mizzou now that the Tigers are preparing to tussle with Gamecocks and Gators. And Mizzou still have three blank spots on their schedule. The only way the rivalry game will continue next season will be by way of the Big East holding West Virginia to the 27-month exit period, resulting in the Big 12 having only eight conference games. This would mean everyone left in the conference would be scrambling to schedule other games. And either they can remain scorned about being left behind and play a cupcake, or boost their strength of schedule by challenging a future SEC contender. This would have certainly helped Oklahoma State this season.
   


10. Mizzou's first season in the SEC will result in a respectable bowl bid, likely Chick-Fil-A
    
    Too bad they don't have any in Columbia (or any chicken places not named Lee's or KFC - insert plea for Zaxby's to finally open up in the Show-Me State), but either way Mizzou will appear in a bowl game and pull off a close win against Clemson. Or it might be the Music City Bowl with a solid win over Louisville. However it works out, Mizzou will make a serious push for the SEC East title and come up just short, though appearing in the Georgia Dome to get blown out by LSU/Bama/Arkansas in the title game will be more than enough to put the Big 12 behind them.
    


11. The Chiefs FINALLY draft a quarterback.
    
    They need one. They really need one, and this year's crop will be bountiful. Quite likely KC will end up with Aaron Murray, who will emulate fellow Georgia product Matthew Stafford in developing a quality offense. However, they'll only be as good as the offensive line, and if the Chiefs don't stock up, Scott Pioli will find himself curating an art museum back in New England.
    


12. The weather will be far less bizarre than 2011, New Madrid Fault notwithstanding
    For a state that took twisters to its 12th largest city and a major airport, flooding along its two major rivers, two epic snowstorms, and a heatwave that peaked at 42°C, we're finally going to get a break and have a not-so-harrowing season. Provided the fewer quakes along the New Madrid Fault in the past couple years doesn't mean it's building up for the big one this year.
    

And Just Like That: A Tweaking

After the appellate panel realized that several of their Senate boundaries might have violated the state constitution concerning counties with more than one district, four of the six members agreed to a revised map that tweaked several districts in the southwest and around St. Louis. So a couple tweaks in the KC area for my proposed names of each district, as follows:

Missouri Senate (Click for maps)

1. St. Louis South
2. St. Charles West
3. Cape Girardeau-St. Genevieve-St. François
4. St. Louis Forest Hills
5. St. Louis Riverfront
6. Lower Osage
7. Lower North East
8. Lee's Summit East-Blue Springs-Odessa
9. Kansas City East
10. Kansas City West & Lee's Summit West
11. Independence & Raytown
12. The North West
13. St. Louis North
14. Ferguson-University City-Clayton
15. St. Louis Southwest
16. Upper Gasconade
17. Kansas City North
18. Upper North East
19. Boone & Howard
20. Western Ozarks
21. The Central West
22. The Lead Belt
23. St. Charles North
24. St. Louis West
25. The South East
26. Lower Gasconade
27. St. Louis Southwest
28. Lower South West
29. Upper South West
30. Springfield
31. Upper Osage
32. Jasper & Newton
33. Eastern Ozarks
34. Platte & Buchanan

Naming Missouri's New Districts

So now the 130th is the 160th, the 20th is now the 49th, and the 8th's split between the 5th, 6th, and 7th. A subdivision in Liberty that was once wholly in the 34th has part of a cul-de-sac in the 17th and the rest in the 38th. But at least the asynchronous 62nd is now in line with its neighboring districts as the 156th.

Anyone else think these numbers are way out there and confusing? Sure brandishing our area codes are even seeping their way beyond their 'hood origins (660 Represent, Y'all?), but who walks around bragging "I'm from the 39th, don't be messing with me?" (And apologies to the newly elected Judy Morgan from the 39th District, who now gets drawn into the same district as a fellow Democrat, Minority Leader Mike Talboy.)

It's simpler to just use numbers, as it's less time consuming to write down names, but what good is a number to describe your area if it's just going to change every ten years? And even if it's going to change every ten years, what difference does conveying "68" make whether it's along Skinker Boulevard or a stretch of the Butterfield Stagecoach Road?

So let's start naming these districts. Be they after counties, county seats, or neighborhoods, names can be tweaked as need be, and the evolution of the districts can be easier to trace than throwing numbers around and watching a number dart from Rock Port to Athens to the Bootheel over the span of 30 years. So here's what I suggest for names of house districts.

General guidelines:

• Limit of three proper nouns (similar to Canadian Ridings)
• Should be ordered by most population to least
• Emphasis on counties for rural districts, cities or neighborhoods if suburban or urban
• Cardinal direction should only be used if base location is used more than once
• Geographical feature or area if possible and patently unique

And now, the obnoxiously sized lists:

Missouri House (Click for maps)

1. Nodaway & Holt
2. Upper Grand River
3. Kirksville & the Green Hills
4. Canton-Memphis-Edina
5. Hannibal North & Shelby
6. Macon & Randolph North
7. Lower Grand River
8. Caldwell & Clinton
9. Savannah & Buchanan East
10. St. Joseph Center
11. St. Joseph South-Buchanan West-Platte North
12. Platte City-Smithville-Kearney
13. Platte South
14. Platte Southeast
15. Gladstone
16. Shoal Creek Valley
17. Liberty South & Claycomo
18. North Kansas City & Vivion Road
19. Kansas City Northeast
20. Independence North & Fort Osage
21. Independence East
22. [Kansas City] Blue Ridge
23. Kansas City East
24. Kansas City Downtown
25. [Kansas City] Brookside
26. Kansas City Troost
27. [Kansas City] Swope Park
28. Raytown
29. Independence South & Kansas City Southeast
30. Independence Southeast & Woods Chapel
31. Blue Springs South & Tapawingo
32. Blue Springs North & Jackson East
33. Harrisonville-Pleasant Hill-Lone Jack
34. Lee's Summit East & Greenwood
35. Lee's Summit West & Longview
36. Kansas City Red Bridge
37. Grandview & Jackson Southwest
38. Liberty North & Excelsior Springs
39. Ray-Carroll-Chariton North
40. Hannibal South-Paris-Bowling Green
41. Lincoln & Troy
42. Warren-Montgomery-St. Charles Southwest
43. Audrain & Callaway East
44. Columbia East & Centralia
45. Columbia Columns
46. Columbia Southwest
47. Boone West-Randolph South-Howard East
48. Boonville-Fayette-Chariton South
49. Callaway South
50. Boone South & Moniteau North
51. Warrensburg East-Marshall-Pettis North
52. Sedalia & Whiteman
53. Lafayette
54. Warrensburg West & Pettis South
55. Raymore-Peculiar-Cass Central
56. Belton & Cass West
57. Cass South-Henry-Benton North
58. Moniteau South & Morgan
59. Cole South & Miller North
60. Jefferson City
61. Lower Gasconade & Osage
62. Upper Gasconade & Osage
63. Wentzville & Wright City
64. St. Paul & Lincoln Southeast
65. St. Charles East
66. Bellefontaine Neighbors & St. Louis Chain Of Rocks
67. Old Halls Ferry
68. Florissant Central
69. Florissant West
70. Maryland Heights West & Chesterfield North
71. Maryland Heights-Overland South
72. Maryland Heights-Overland North
73. Hazelwood-Lambert-Ferguson West
74. Ferguson East & Jennings
75. Dellwood & Castle Point
76. St. Louis Kingsway
77. St. Louis University & Fairgrounds
78. St. Louis Gateway
79. St. Louis Hyde Park & Lafayette Square
80. St. Louis Tower Grove
81. St. Louis Holly Hills
82. St. Louis Southampton & Lindenwood
83. Maplewood-Brentwood-Rock Hill
84. St. Louis Forest Park
85. Overland East, Bel-Ridge & Northwoods
86. University City
87. Clayton & Ladue South
88. Creve Coeur & Ladue North
89. Town & Country
90. Kirkwood
91. Webster Groves-Shrewsbury-Crestwood
92. Affton & Concord
93. Lemay
94. Mehlville
95. Oakville
96. Fenton & Sunset Hills
97. Arnold West & Murphy
98. Ballwin Meramec
99. Manchester & Valley Park
100. Ballwin North & Chesterfield South
101. Chesterfield West & Wildwood North
102. Dardenne Prairie
103. Cottleville
104. St. Peters West
105. St. Peters East
106. St. Charles West
107. O'Fallon
108. Lake St. Louis
109. Franklin North
110. Pacific-Eureka-Wildwood South
111. Jefferson West
112. Jefferson North
113. Arnold East & Barnhart West
114. Festus & Barnhart East
115. Jefferson South & St. François North
116. Ste. Genevieve-Farmington East-Perry North
117. Farmington West & Park Hills
118. Jefferson Southwest & Washington North
119. Franklin South & Washington Northwest
120. Steelville & St. James
121. Rolla-Dixon-Richland
122. Waynesville
123. Laclede East & Camden South
124. Miller South & Camden North
125. St. Clair-Hickory-Benton South
126. Bates & Vernon
127. Barton-Dade-Jasper Outer
128. Bolivar & Stockton
129. Laclede West & Dallas
130. Greene West
131. Springfield North
132. Springfield Center
133. Springfield Southwest
134. Springfield South
135. Springfield East
136. Springfield Southeast
137. Greene East & Webster West
138. Stone & Christian Northwest
139. Christian West
140. Christian East
141. Webster East & Wright
142. Houston-Big Piney-Edgar Springs
143. Dent-Shannon-Oregon
144. Washington South & the Arcadia Valley
145. Madison-Bollinger-Perry South
146. Cape Girardeau Outer
147. Cape Girardeau Inner
148. Scott East & Mississippi North
149. New Madrid-Pemiscot North-Mississippi South
150. Dunklin & Pemiscot South
151. Stoddard & Scott West
152. Butler South
153. Butler North-Ripley-Carter
154. West Plains & Caulfield
155. Douglas-Ozark-Taney East
156. Taney West
157. Lawrence
158. Barry
159. McDonald & Newton South
160. Newton North
161. Joplin Hope
162. Joplin North & Jasper Southwest
163. Carthage & Oronogo

Missouri Senate (Click for maps)

1. St. Louis South
2. St. Charles West
3. Cape Girardeau-St. Genevieve-St. François
4. St. Louis Forest Hills
5. St. Louis Riverfront
6. Lower Osage
7. Lower North East
8. Lee's Summit & Blue Springs
9. Kansas City East
10. Kansas City West
11. Independence & Raytown
12. The North West
13. St. Louis North
14. Ferguson-University City-Clayton
15. St. Louis Southwest
16. Upper Gasconade
17. Kansas City North
18. Upper North East
19. Boone & Howard
20. Western Ozarks
21. The Central West
22. Lead Belt
23. St. Charles North
24. St. Louis West
25. The South East
26. Lower Gasconade
27. St. Louis Southwest
28. Lower South West
29. Upper South West
30. Springfield
31. Upper Osage
32. Jasper & Newton
33. Eastern Ozarks
34. Platte & Buchanan

Lant To Pursue Vacant Seat In McDonald County

If it hasn't run already, portions of my interview with first-term Rep. Bill Lant will air later today, where Lant announces that he will pursue the new 159th District in McDonald County.

Lant, who currently lives outside Joplin and operates a feed store north of Seneca, was drawn into the same district as another first-term Republican, Bill Reiboldt of Neosho. Reiboldt, currently the vice-chairman of the agriculture committee, lives on his family's farm just outside Neosho, and the 160th district is centered on Neosho. Lant says that he owns land in McDonald County and has been planning to build a home there for some time.

The 159th will contain all of McDonald County as well as the Newton County communities of Seneca and Stella. (In fact, the new boundary between the two districts runs along Iris Road, just south of the feed store.) Previously, Neosho was grouped into the 130th district also containing Anderson, Goodman and South West City, wholly surrounded by the 131st district and the state boundary.

Under Missouri law, a representative is allowed to run for office in another district if he or she is forced out by redistricting. If elected, the representative would have one year to relocate. Already Andrew Koenig (R-Wincester), Jason Holsman (D-Kansas City) and now Jamilah Nasheed (D-St. Louis) have announced plans to run for vacant districts as a result of being grouped into new districts with other incumbents.

Additionally, Charlie Davis (R-Webb City) is said to be moving to a different part of Webb City as as a result of his placement in a district with Tom Loehner (R-Carthage). The line between the 162nd & 163rd districts is four blocks from Davis' house.

Brian Williams Chill Pill Needed

Brian Williams, who was once anchor at Joplin's KOAM-TV, displayed a most admirable sense of cool and collected composure when fire alarms blared during his live broadcast of NBC Nightly News this week, and likewise when he did spot reporting from his one-time home in the aftermath of last May's tornado.

If only I had that amount of cool this evening when I saw the new maps of the Missouri House and Senate districts. Fortunately, the Senate maps (outside St. Louis) allowed me to regain some composure and stop my neighbors from asking what the heck I was screaming about. Well, when something odd happens close to home, you're inclined to freak out:

This is the House district line between districts 16 (south) and 38 (north & east). In the northwestern corner is District 12, which will stretch from Platte City to Kearney.

You'd expect to see such sawtooth boundaries in urban districts, but we're not talking about two suburban districts. Because of the population distribution between the growing suburbs of Kansas City and the greying breadbasket of Northern Missouri, District 16 will consist of subdivisions ranging from Gashland and New Mark to Shoal Creek Valley and parts of North Brook, while District 38 will stretch from this area east to Excelsior Springs and Missouri City. However, the population of Liberty (the oldest municipality in the Kansas City area), is in for a shock.

After I gave up on using the state administration office's GIS tool, I downloaded the KML files for display in Google Earth, and the results were damning through Liberty.


This is Exit 17, the junction between Interstate 35 and Highway 291. At this point (OK, a few yards away owing to pre-Interstate road alignments) is the confluence of districts 16 (southwest), 17 (southeast) and 38 (northeast). This is where the boundary for 38 really gets screwy. A small subdivision across from Lewis & Clark Elementary is split along its lone, winding street. It then follows Gallatin down toward Ridgeway Road, heads south toward Fairview and then onto the Junior High.


This is downtown Liberty and one of its historic neighborhoods to the west. The red line decides to jog around, going east a block on Kansas, then south on Moss until it hits Liberty Drive, then east onto Mill until it becomes Richfield Drive at William Jewell. The square and college are in District 38; the Junior High and Franklin Elementary, District 17. Again, William Jewell is in a rural district with Excelsior Springs and Franklin Elementary is in a suburban district with Claycomo and Pleasant Valley.

From Richfield Road, the boundary goes south on Claywoods Parkway, the main north-south road through the Claywoods subdivisions. Until it hits this group of houses:


The district boundary breaks away to group the first two houses on Silverleaf Lane, then goes along the backyards of several houses until it reaches a home that has its back against the cul-de-sac on Crimson Lane. The boundary goes along the property lines, through the cul-de-sac, and then makes a due-south dash for the water treatment plant. Yes, that means two houses on Crimson Lane are in one suburban district, whilst the rest of the street is in the neighboring rural district.

I'm hearing stories of how as many as three incumbents could be pitted against each other for one seat (the new District 5 between Shelby, Marion and northern Monroe counties is coming to mind), but this meticulous buzzsaw through Liberty really got my blood boiling. And this could have been prevented had nine Republicans and nine Democrats been able to actually agree to something workable rather than stick with their own political endeavours.

Now, folks going door to door campaigning through Claywoods and Brooke Meadows will wind up cherry-picking doors as a result of oddly drawn lines.

Get the sheers out, folks. Just don't use them when you're on chill pills soon to be named for Brian Williams.

On Disparaging Tweets

November doesn't seem like a good month to be a Tweeter in a certain state to the west.

This week, regional media was abuzz over a tweet sent by Emma Sullivan, a senior at Shawnee Mission East High School, making a disparaging comment about Kansas Governor Sam Brownback as he was speaking to her school's Youth in Government during a field trip to the state capitol in Topeka. She and her supporters say the tweet (complete with "#heblowsalot") was a joke, but the Governor's office is certainly not laughing, as their complaint to administrators at East has resulted in the school requiring Sullivan to write a letter of apology to Brownback.

While this certainly tests the lines on freedom of expression within the confines of our schools, especially when it comes to social media and politics, I'm only dumbstruck by the lack of decorum exhibited by both parties. While students should not "check their First Amendment rights at the door", as famously phrased in Tinker vs. United States, it was disrespectful of Sullivan to make that Tweet as the governor was speaking to her school group. She certainly had the right to make those comments, but the manner in which it was done lacked tact (and, if such a policy exists, likely goes against the school's code on mobile phone use during class or similar school function).

The governor's office isn't looking any better on this. Sullivan's Twitter feed, prior to this week's row, only had fewer than 100 followers. It was public and open for anyone to find and search. Including Brownback's director of communications, who informed the school about the tweet. Plenty of Brownback detractors are calling the action and mere existence of saved searches scouring the web for anything mention the governor's name as akin to the thought police. While it's unclear whether the governor's office demanded the apology or school administrators suggested the idea, it's a blatant over-reaction.

If Brownback (or more appropriately his staffers) are worried about a singular insult from an 18-year-old, self-identified Democrat who plans on going to college in a different state, how the heck are they going to handle proper criticism from a serious political challenger? And if the school's administration have taken it upon themselves to mandate this letter, complete with talking points, how exactly is this a student making a sincere apology for an act of disrespect and not administrators in Kansas' second-largest school district begging Brownback to not take out his disapproval (or disdain for dissenting opinions) on their funding?

Then again, if Brownback would cut funding or demand apologies because of Tweets that lack all sense of decorum, KU's "Missouri forfeits a century-old rivalry. We win." three weeks ago should bring about a similar action, especially if today's game results in Mizzou claiming a lop-sided win on their way to the SEC East.

The Joplin Spirit

The following was submitted for publication in The Romney Marsh Times, an internet-based publication serving the Romney Marsh area of Kent.

When I relocated to the Kentish Riviera two years ago, one of the first things I did was review the history of the area I was soon to call home. Although my time in Folkestone lasted far shorter than I had hoped, I left having a greater understanding and appreciation for many of the aspects that form common characteristics in our rechristened “essential relationship”.

One of these common traits is the can-do attitude that a people who fervently believe in their way of life and fellow man, woman and child can overcome any oppressive, seemingly insurmountable obstacle. The Dunkirk Spirit—the rescue of thousands of British soldiers from the onslaught of the Third Reich’s Blitzkrieg—reverberates to this day in the many war memorials, community events, and appeals that bring together villages and towns across Britain. The challenge proved difficult with the arrival of the Blitz, especially in Hellfire Corner. But Britain persevered.

Two years today marks the first time I walked through the garden on Sandgate Road, where Christ Church once stood. Its clock tower remained intact following persistent cross-Channel bombardment, a testament to the Dunkirk Spirit. In the past week, I’ve been reminded of that testament as Mother Nature unleashed her worst on my home state Missouri.

It only took a matter of minutes for a tornado to descend on the south end of Joplin and carve a path of devastation six miles long and in some places a mile wide. The numbers and pictures from the area are jarring: 142 dead, at least 100 still unaccounted for, tens of thousands homeless, nearly $3 billion (£1.82 billion) in damage, and street corners unrecognisable. The cyclone has been described as the eighth-deadliest in the record books, the worst in almost sixty years. And storms causing flash flooding and more tornado scares have only added insult to injury.

While it will take years for Joplin to physically recover, its spirit is far from broken.

Within hours of the storm’s damage airing on local and national television, donation drives and volunteer efforts began sprouting up. The next morning, Americans from every walk of life offered their change, blood veins, and labour to help. Over 65,000 people joined a Facebook group expressing support for Joplin's recovery, also giving survivors a chance to reconnect with loved ones. Church congregations and businesses from Springfield, Tulsa, Northwest Arkansas, Kansas City and beyond sent lorry after lorry containing much-needed essentials. Donation appeals emerged in bank parking lots, hotel lobbies, and even a furniture outlet store collecting stuffed toys. Major sport clubs are in the effort, with the owner of Kansas City’s NFL franchise taking a hands-on role in packing bottled water.

Amid the damage, the rebuilding has already begun. Flags fly full-mast at Joplin’s damaged school buildings, including the high school that must be razed and rebuilt. The St John’s Regional Medical Center, whose nine-storey shell has become the icon of this disaster, is already crafting plans for a new facility to continue their 126-year ministry. While these are critical pillars of any community, it falls on the people who call Joplin home to revive and sustain their wounded hometown.

One would only need dial into any of Joplin’s radio stations to hear their spirit endure. Since 4 p.m. Sunday Joplin’s main ownership cluster has provided continuous coverage, allowing residents to call and tell the world they’re OK, find out information about shelters, and look for loved ones who have gone missing. Several staff members remain at the studios with nothing but what they brought in that weekend, and they remain committed to getting their community back on their feet. I can barely imagine how I would be able to endure were I to find myself in a similar situation, prioritising the needs of my community over the pain of personal loss.

While it is expected of any licensed broadcaster, canine search and rescue team, or national guardsman to provide their public service during a crisis, it takes community spirit to overcome the personal grief and dismay from living in the midst of a nightmare and pull together for the greater good.

The history books will look at the tornado of 22nd May 2011 not as the single twister that destroyed one-third of Missouri’s thirteenth-largest city, but as the calamity that cultivated the Joplin Spirit. An EF-5 cyclone may have uprooted the lives of tens of thousands, but millions of hearts, bound and beating together with prayer, charity for an afflicted neighbour, and sense of duty to restore some semblance of normalcy, will remain firmly entrenched in all who call Joplin and surrounding communities home.

Joplin will persevere. Its streets may resemble a war zone, but its people are resilient and their fellow Missourians stand in solidarity for their recovery.

The Joplin Spirit will prevail.