The Windmills of Scotland

The Scottish National Party might want to consider adopting a new patron saint: Don Quixote.

Of course, the Catholic Church (and any mainstream religious operation, for that matter) wouldn't allow the canonisation of a fictional character. But on the day dedicated to the patron saint of Scotland, this past Monday, the SNP made known yet again their desire to tilt the windmills of the 300-year-old Acts of Union. This time, the SNP-led minority Scottish Government released their long-awaited white paper which spells out their plans to pursue a referendum next year asking voters on whether they want to commit Scotland to independence from the United Kingdom.

This report, which would have reached 200 pages with just a few more pictures of SNP leaders in front of saltires, details their findings from two years of meetings and forums. It also comes just days after the SNP were soundly defeated in the Glasgow North East by-election by a rebounding Labour. But the report could be summed up in one vague, idealistic paragraph:

"We want independence for Scotland. We want to run our own things. We already run some things, but we want to run everything. But we don't mind keeping your NHS doctors, your passports, your Queen (she descended from our Stuarts, after all) and even your Pounds. After all, we're part of one big European family that'll listen to us, embrace us as a new member, and bail us out if this doesn't work, right? Right?"

Throughout the paper, the Scottish government's position makes clear their desire to achieve independence, explaining where they are currently inhibited under the current devolution scheme and where independence from the UK would increase Scotland's international representation and potentially its economic growth. Their conclusions and goals for independence, however, showed their only assurances as Scotland taking full responsibility for their affairs, while not sufficiently indicating how becoming a more vocal voice in bodies such as the European Union or United Nations would benefit Scotland. Even when it comes to the referendum they want to have next year, they even suggest that such a question posited to the voter have more than one option, as opposed to the typical yes-no ballot question that would be seen as binding.

It would be delusional for Alex Salmond's cavalry of Rocinates to assume that they can somehow supplant the remnants of the UK on the UN Security Council, let alone push for a reform of the 15-member body. Or for an independent Scotland to be the one voice that suddenly convinces stubborn Czechs, Aussies and Arkansans to combat climate change. Or for an independent Scotland to be taken seriously as a partner in the fight against global terrorism, when the lone man convicted of bringing down Pan Am Flight 103 spent just two weeks in prison for each victim of the bombing.

It's not helping our Gaelic Quixotes either that two of the windmills they must charge at are the two banks chartered in Edinburgh – the Royal Bank of Scotland and Bank of Scotland. Both banks are now owned by holding companies (RBS Group and Lloyds, respectively) which are owned partly by British taxpayers (again respectively, 58% and 43%). Would an independent Scotland be capable of propping up these two banks? All the while, will the muscle an independent Scotland suddenly gain in Brussels ensure that the big banks "come back into the real world"?

If failing to keep Labour from regaining Glasgow North East doesn't indicate to the SNP that they're losing touch with the future citizens of their independent Scotland, then the fate of their candidates in the next general election will determine that. At their most recent annual conference, the SNP boldly declared that they would become the kingmakers come June, claiming 20 seats at Westminster and determining who in a hung parliament would become Prime Minister. Elections to the Scottish Parliament follow in 2011.

These lofty goals are about to smack head-first into the two-metre long blades turning the mill on the barley for future bottles of whisky. Lofty ambitions with vague means to achieve the end is bound to cause heart-wrenching setbacks.