Brian Williams Chill Pill Needed

Brian Williams, who was once anchor at Joplin's KOAM-TV, displayed a most admirable sense of cool and collected composure when fire alarms blared during his live broadcast of NBC Nightly News this week, and likewise when he did spot reporting from his one-time home in the aftermath of last May's tornado.

If only I had that amount of cool this evening when I saw the new maps of the Missouri House and Senate districts. Fortunately, the Senate maps (outside St. Louis) allowed me to regain some composure and stop my neighbors from asking what the heck I was screaming about. Well, when something odd happens close to home, you're inclined to freak out:

This is the House district line between districts 16 (south) and 38 (north & east). In the northwestern corner is District 12, which will stretch from Platte City to Kearney.

You'd expect to see such sawtooth boundaries in urban districts, but we're not talking about two suburban districts. Because of the population distribution between the growing suburbs of Kansas City and the greying breadbasket of Northern Missouri, District 16 will consist of subdivisions ranging from Gashland and New Mark to Shoal Creek Valley and parts of North Brook, while District 38 will stretch from this area east to Excelsior Springs and Missouri City. However, the population of Liberty (the oldest municipality in the Kansas City area), is in for a shock.

After I gave up on using the state administration office's GIS tool, I downloaded the KML files for display in Google Earth, and the results were damning through Liberty.


This is Exit 17, the junction between Interstate 35 and Highway 291. At this point (OK, a few yards away owing to pre-Interstate road alignments) is the confluence of districts 16 (southwest), 17 (southeast) and 38 (northeast). This is where the boundary for 38 really gets screwy. A small subdivision across from Lewis & Clark Elementary is split along its lone, winding street. It then follows Gallatin down toward Ridgeway Road, heads south toward Fairview and then onto the Junior High.


This is downtown Liberty and one of its historic neighborhoods to the west. The red line decides to jog around, going east a block on Kansas, then south on Moss until it hits Liberty Drive, then east onto Mill until it becomes Richfield Drive at William Jewell. The square and college are in District 38; the Junior High and Franklin Elementary, District 17. Again, William Jewell is in a rural district with Excelsior Springs and Franklin Elementary is in a suburban district with Claycomo and Pleasant Valley.

From Richfield Road, the boundary goes south on Claywoods Parkway, the main north-south road through the Claywoods subdivisions. Until it hits this group of houses:


The district boundary breaks away to group the first two houses on Silverleaf Lane, then goes along the backyards of several houses until it reaches a home that has its back against the cul-de-sac on Crimson Lane. The boundary goes along the property lines, through the cul-de-sac, and then makes a due-south dash for the water treatment plant. Yes, that means two houses on Crimson Lane are in one suburban district, whilst the rest of the street is in the neighboring rural district.

I'm hearing stories of how as many as three incumbents could be pitted against each other for one seat (the new District 5 between Shelby, Marion and northern Monroe counties is coming to mind), but this meticulous buzzsaw through Liberty really got my blood boiling. And this could have been prevented had nine Republicans and nine Democrats been able to actually agree to something workable rather than stick with their own political endeavours.

Now, folks going door to door campaigning through Claywoods and Brooke Meadows will wind up cherry-picking doors as a result of oddly drawn lines.

Get the sheers out, folks. Just don't use them when you're on chill pills soon to be named for Brian Williams.