Forget Swine Flu; UK braces for Tory Foot-in-Mouth Disease

While the US debate vigorously the virtues and/or follies of the NHS, and the NHS replace the teenagers they hired to diagnose over the phone cases of Swine Flu, another ailment has swept through the ranks of the Conservative Party.

At first, it claimed London mayor Boris Johnson, who last month called an extra £250,000 for writing a weekly column for the Daily Telegraph "chicken feed". This is on top of his salary as mayor, which is a mere £140,000, and was initially raised amid criticisms that he was receiving it in spite of a directive from David Cameron for Tory front-benchers to dump their second jobs in preparation for the election that has to occur before 3 June 2010.

Now comes a video, filmed by an invited visitor who was protesting the excessive expenses claims of MPs, where shadow Commons leader Alan Duncan stated: "You have to live on rations and are treated like s---." The base salary for a Member of Parliament is £65,000 per year, plus reimbursable expenses.

Naturally, most Conservative front-benchers were quick to distance themselves from Duncan's comments, and Duncan's apology was equally quick. However, his chance of recovering from this strain of foot-in-mouth disease appears grim, as he might have an extended stay in an intensive care unit called a backbench.