17 March 2010

Next on Sky Sports: Cameron's Picks for Premier League Champions

I can picture it now.

Fresh after a tense meeting with his new Chancellor of the Exchequer Vince Cable (the way the polls are going, the Tories just might throw George Osborne under the bus to gain the Lib Dems' support in a hung parliament), the new Prime Minister David Cameron walks into a foyer well-prepared for a high profile TV interview.

Standing by an easel is a face well known to TV viewers across Britain as the man who enlightens his steady followers six days a week: Jeff Stelling, the host of Channel Four's Countdown and Sky Sports' Soccer Saturday.

As the cameras roll, Jeff and the Prime Minister discuss the teams recently promoted from the Championship League: Newcastle, West Brom, and Leicester City. While commenting on the exciting playoff victory Leicester achieved over favourites Nottingham Forest, the Prime Minister makes quick mention on Newcastle's return to the top level, invoking the spirit of longtime manager Sir Bobby Robson. After expressing (otherwise manufactured) shock at the dismal seasons of Plymouth Argyle in the Championship and the woes plaguing the bankrupt, relegated Portsmouth, the two proceed to the key fixtures of the 2010-2011 season.

But before starting, Jeff quickly asks the Prime Minister, who became a fan of Aston Villa when his uncle (a chairman on AVFC's board at the time) took him to a game when the future PM was 13, whether or not any bias for AVFC will show. A brief laugh, then onto the schedule.

Over the course of segments shown throughout the day on Sky Sports, Sky News, then pared off to BBC News (and at least two clips spoofed on Harry Hill's TV Burp and Mock The Week), we find the Prime Minister suggesting how new players to Chelsea's lineup will help them stay strong throughout the season, the great potential for Man City upending Man U in both ends of the Manchester Derby, and his firm belief that Rafa Benitez' time at Liverpool is nearing an end.

All the while, families observing this on Freeview are wondering what the heck the Prime Minister's doing spending several minutes talking about football when he should be fixing the economic mess in which the UK remains. Already he's attempting to maintain a tenuous coalition, needing the support of the Lib Dems to ward off a joint Labour-SNP call for a snap December election. Last-minute jitters in the voters' minds about a new Conservative government, which resulted in the election of the unseating of the Speaker by former UKIP leader Nigel Farage, one Green victory in Brighton, and three BNP members coming within 600 votes of winning their races, have weighed the Sterling lower against the Dollar and barely at par with the Euro. And here he is talking about football.

Sound crazy?

If Cameron's aiming to sweep the Conservatives into power with a playbook that emphasizes a leader's image and personality, then this just might happen. With the election two months away, the race for control of the 650 seats of the House of Commons is boiling down to a contest of the party leaders. (And as pointed out in many of last Sunday's newspapers and BBC's Andrew Marr Show, their wives.) Laced throughout the party manifestos are pictures of each party's leaders, more prevalent than their high-ranking officers who hope to become state ministers. And when the election's finally called, three televised debates between the three major party leaders will take place.

It's a playbook that closely mirrors those that turned a state senator from Illinois into the figurative leader of the Free World and a one-time sports reporter into the poster child of the fervently religious right. And that playbook includes the comfort-content interruptions such as filling out your college basketball brackets (and in President Obama's case, backing out of picking a Mizzou upset over West Virginia — there goes his chances of picking up our 11 electoral votes in 2012!) Despite Obama's push to have a health care reform bill rammed through Congress before week's end, he's also taking time to fill out a women's bracket.

So, if push comes to shove and it becomes necessary for Cameron to pull a PR stunt to stave off a snap election just as he's settling into 10 Downing (or, in the case of Gordon Brown pulling off a Truman '48, yet more rumors of a leadership challenge actually fomenting into a backbencher push to install one of the Brothers Milliband), he just might want to have Sky Sports on speed dial.

And make sure he doesn't mix up Liverpool for Everton. Anfield already have a seething dislike for his supporters at The Sun.

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