A Refresher Course For Mike

A Primer From Someone Who Pretty Much Did The Same Thing Mike's Doing:
Left Missouri To Return To An Old Job Just Outside The State

Things have changed rapidly in Northwest Arkansas since the last time Mike Anderson held a job here. Heck, even some things changed since I was last employed south of the border some 22 months ago. But now, since I've been here the last five weeks re-acquainting myself with the turf that formed my initial status as The Missouri Expatriate, I'm going to relay some refreshers to the newest escapee from The Shear-Me State.

1. There are a lot more people here than there were when Nolan was chased out of town with pitchforks.
   Yep, Northwest Arkansas remains one of the fastest growing places in the nation. Two of the fastest growing counties in the 2010 Census were Washington and Benton counties, the two that make up the core of the region. In fact, Benton's rapid growth allowed them to surpass Washington (whose county seat is Fayetteville) as the second-most populous county in the Natural State, with Pulaski still in the top spot. With that in mind…
   
2. Ojala que haya aprendido español, laosiano o aún marshalesa.
   The rapid growth of population and commerce in the area also includes a large influx of migrant workers from Latin America, Southeast Asia, and the Marshall Islands. Most of them are employed by the poultry behemoth Tyson and their competitors George's, Cargill and Cobb-Vantress. This influx has added a unique character to their places of residence. Be ready to translate to English several signs, especially along 8th Street in Rogers and the east end of Springdale.
   
3. Forget Hy-Vee, QuikTrip, and Shakespeare's. They're still not here.
   Although the area has a plethora of independent pizza joints (Jim's Razorback, Eureka, Tim's), there's nothing like the unique feel of Shakespeare's. Also, it's going to be hit-or-miss finding Boulevard on tap (though I confess I don't know if Mike's the kind of guy who'll down a pint) or toasted ravioli.
   
   Despite Iowa-based Kum and Go making an aggressive push into the market (and fellow Hawkeye chain Casey's building its first store in Arkansas at Bella Vista's Highland Crossing) Hyvee still hasn't set designs on the area, with Walmart and Harps remaining the main game. (Yes, that means no Schnuks either!) And although QuikTrip is headquartered 90 miles to the west in Tulsa, they haven't touched the area either.
   
4. There's still no Bella Vista bypass, either.
   Get used to stopping at lights in Jane and stop-and-go traffic between Lancashire Drive and Lowe's, because the Bella Vista Bypass remains nowhere near completion. It's the critical cog that's keeping MoDOT from having US-71 south of Joplin labelled I-49. And if we're lucky, a two-lane bypass will open in four years that'll just provide a shortcut to Hiwasse. Worse, MoDOT's had the funding ready for years, but now as Arkansas's getting their act together to bypass what is now the state's ninth-largest city, MoDOT sits at risk of a massive budget shortfall.
   
5. Get ready to elect a congressman from Texarkana. Or Helena-West Helena.
   In spite of civic leaders and members of both parties saying how flagrant a gerrymander it is, members of Arkansas' re-districting committees are seriously considering a plan that would gerrymander Fayetteville out of the Third District (which reaches to Harrison, Fort Smith and Russellville) and into the last-remaining Democrat district, the fourth district in the southern half of the state. Supporters contend that Fayetteville's majority-Democrat population believe their votes are being wasted in a district that's been reliably Republican for 30-plus years. However, this gerrymander would be achieved by a "pig tail" through the Ozark National Forest in eastern Sebastian County, entirely surrounded by the Third District. And really, what does a college town surrounded by Walmart, Tyson, and J.B. Hunt have in common with the likes of DeQueen, Crossett and Lake Village?
   
   And yes, Helena consolidated with West Helena, and the city is in fact called "Helena-West Helena".
   
6. Didn't like paying to see the Columbia Tribune online? It's worse with the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette.
   While the Columbia Tribune allows you to view ten articles online before making you pay (and you can get around it by reading the Missourian or any other paper in Missouri), you only get an abstract with the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette before they insist you pay to view. Good luck finding any other daily to get freebie views; the closest is Neosho and Joplin, and they're owned by the same people who run the Kirksville Daily Express. Yeah.
   
7. Politics and planes aren't a problem here.
   No need to worry about fans from either side of the aisle taking "damn planes" to see the Hogs play. Democrat Mike Beebe's well liked here despite Arkansas becoming increasingly red, and he rarely leaves the Little Rock area.
   
8. Unfortunately, fluoridated water is.
   Despite the EPA advising polities to hold off on increasing the amount of fluoride in their drinking water, Beebe already signed legislation essentially overriding local standards and setting a statewide minimum. So once locating a dentist that's either in the Third or Fourth District that's going to charge a wee bit extra so the office staff can read entire articles online, check to make sure that iconic smile isn't getting scarred by streaks of fluoride.
   
9. On the bright side, once the euphoric homecoming passes and Arkansas is still languishing in the just-as-lousy SEC West, XNA has plenty of flights to choose from to escape the throngs of fans that still have Houston Nutt's scalp on the end of their pitchforks.
   The only thing missing is Southwest, but sooner or later they'll come here. Heck, Southwest already has an in at Branson's airport once the acquisition of AirTran is complete.
   

So there's my refresher course. Good luck Mike, because we're both going to need it.